Sunday, July 05, 2015

The Bastards Got Me

Wanna know what kind of real impact stress can have? Here's the list of things I have not done because of extraordinary amounts of stress over the last six months:

  • Slowed my finishing a draft of my novel. 
  • Kept me from proofing said novel to send to beta readers. Depression associated with the stress contributed to that, too. "It sucks." - Me
  • Slowed me reading a friend's book. I've promised her a critique and I'm working on it but most of that work has come in the last three weeks or so. And it's still slow.
  • I have books from two other friends that I owe crits on too. 
  • The last Evolver book needs to be proofed and edited before I send it to the publisher. It's written and has been written but it needs a polish before it goes out. Haven't been able to focus on that.
  • The second Agent of DANGER book needs to be written. Can't even think about that, yet.
  • Six or seven short stories have been kinda sorta outlined but not even attempted.
  • And don't even talk to me about my To Read pile. It includes Trigger Warning and The Harvest Man, two guaranteed great books but my concentration is shot.
I'm serious. Trying to concentrate on anything the last six months has been hell. The stress has been from family illnesses and lots of trips to hospitals. Nothing that hasn't turned out good in the end but there were a lot of dark days in there where I wasn't sure which direction I was headed. I foolishly made promises I truly wanted to keep but which all fell by the wayside.

To those whom I promised a critique or a piece of writing: I am sorry you don't have it yet. 

But the last couple of weeks have been much better. Health situations have dramatically improved and my life is beginning to return to what normal was back in early December. Getting out of the house to go see Failure last week was a watershed moment. Sort of the end of the heavy stress.

I've got a lot of work to make up. Instead of worrying about how it's ALL going to get done I have to prioritize what's most important, what can get out into the world fastest and what is most meaningful.

What I'm getting at here is that sometimes Life Takes Over. You have to roll with it and work as best you can. I don't think my day job suffered other than I was gone quite a bit for various things. That was my focus because that's what pays the bills. The creative stuff, despite what I hoped and promised, just ended up litter on the side of the highway. 

Time to put on my safety vest, drive back out there and start picking up after myself. 

More when there's an actual update to talk about. 

Except I may write a bit about how much Failure means to me. Or I may not. I may just keep that one to myself. We'll see. Getting any bit of writing accomplished right now feels pretty damn good. That's why I'm typing this. 

But time to go now. See you soon.

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