Friday, January 24, 2014

The Filters

Something happened yesterday that I can't talk about here. I don't mean to say that it was super important or anything like that, it's just not appropriate for me to discuss it in a public forum like the blog. Filters up, I guess.

Don't box me in, man.
Sometimes I read things that friends or people I know post on Facebook or Twitter or their blogs and I wonder - was that aimed at me? Sometimes I think 'yes' and other times I can obviously say 'no'. It's the in-between things that get me. That can affect me. (To be sure, I don't think every poison arrow is meant for me. I understand that I read too much into things sometimes, but still, the takeaways from the posted pieces are powerful. That's all I'm saying.)

And I suppose that's the point of those items being posted. Whether the poster had me in mind, or others, doesn't really matter. The point wasn't lost on me.

When I read something that's terribly mean but true, I cringe. It doesn't change the essential truth of whatever it was said, but I wonder how the poster felt when he hit that button that let us all see the inner workings of his mind. Probably that's dangerous but it's cool, too, to gain that insight. To know that person had turned off the filters that day is interesting, revealing.

And we all do it. It happens in your day job, in your home life, when you're out with friends. We all want to comment on how stupid this or that is, wonder how so-and-so can possibly STILL be drawing breath or anything that's mildly gossip-y. Or even really gossip-y. Why is that, I wonder?

In the end, if someone has an issue with me or with something I've done, I much prefer that there be a conversation about it. It doesn't need to be a confrontation, not at all. Simply point out that I'm at fault for something and let me work to fix it. Or not. Sometimes I get carried away. We all do.

I'm all about learning and growing and being not just a better writer, father, husband or worker, I want to be a better person. That's why the filters go up before I sit down to type anything out into the Internet any more. If it needs to be said, fine. If it doesn't, let it go. Or wait until I'm with others, in person, who would be interested to know.

Maybe that's enough for all of us.