Monday, December 30, 2013

I'm Not Announcing Anything

2014 is fast approaching and this is the time when I usually start talking about what I'm intending to do next year. No matter how reserved I am I always say I'm going to do something and it never quite happens.

I will ask you, if you don't mind too much, to head over to my author Facebook page and give it a like. That page is building up slow and sure and there's content there that's not anywhere else. Not a lot, but some. That's where I'll announce things (when they're for sure) sometimes before I announce them here. Thanks so much. Now on to the reason I'm not announcing anything.

The last year and a half has been a creative struggle. I've accomplished some things I set out to do and not others. I could blame it on having gotten sick - and that would be valid, I was far more sick for far longer than I ever thought - but that's a cheat. It wasn't anything really physical that I struggled with. It was more mental.  A lot more mental.

Self-doubt, convincing myself that I'm no good at this. That was more it than anything else. Some of that comes from the physical. I wasn't exercising and there were other factors that contributed. It sounds like an excuse but it's not. It was a recurrence of certain --- well, let's just say that while I don't struggle with depression on a regular basis I know from experience this was related. Some of it was external but most of it wasn't.

Regardless.

Coming back from the physical illness has rejuvenated the creative juices. I have plans but I shall keep them to myself. As they're ready to launch into the world, I'll let you know here.

The other reason behind my deciding to play things closer to the vest this year is that sometimes ideas just aren't good. They may seem so right now but in the execution it may be revealed that's it's not workable, for whatever reason. I've had several things just not pan out because I didn't have the experience or reference or whatever to follow through the way I wanted. That also is mental.

And maybe it's mental in the sense that it's mad, crazy, whacko. It might be.

Nah.

I'm not crazy. I'm in a slump. Was in a slump.

Well, working my way out of it. Doing the things that've worked in the past to pull me out of it. For the moment it's no longer a downward spiral. Now I'm looking for an updraft, a thermal that will carry me back up where I need to be.